RAMPAGING YOUTH

I confess - I am the mother of one of those rampaging youths you read about in your daily newspaper. He hasn't stabbed or shot anybody but he is a binge drinker and his behaviour is very antisocial.

Why am I telling you this? Well, a number of reasons really. The first, and the one that looms large for me at the moment, is that I have just been visited by the drug squad. Four scary looking men and a dog have searched my home from top to bottom. They didn't find anything, but then I never thought they would. I am, however, very shaken up by all of this.

My son's antisocial behaviour is connected to alcohol - he sees Friday and Saturday nights as being for one purpose only - to get paralytically drunk. Most Saturday evenings are spent in custody at the local police station; they know me so well now because, when he doesn't come home, it is the custody office that I phone first - before I start panicking about him lying hurt and bleeding in a gutter somewhere. He is eighteen years old now and, to all intents and purposes, can do as he pleases.

What has happened to our society? Can this apparent breakdown have anything to do with the fact that we can no longer clip our children around the ear, for fear of being 'divorced' or charged with assault. What about the police? It seems to me that their hands are tied too. From what I have seen, what is missing is respect; respect for the law, respect for one's elders, respect for professionals. As a registered midwife, I have seen this lack of respect up close - it is not nice.

Along with you, l watch those news programmes and television reports about binge-drinking, gun crime, and rampaging teenagers. Like you, they make me feel angry. But my anger becomes overwhelming when they put the blame on the parents. I have brought all of my children up to be decent, honest, and caring human beings. They have all been taught right from wrong and they all know, from example, that we should care for others. I am very ashamed of my son's behaviour and feel, somehow, responsible; I love him so much yet he is the cause of such anguish and upheaval for others.

My boy comes from a good home, he has parents who are still together, and he knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is loved. Tell me - what else can I do, or could I have done, to prevent this?

I am at my wits end. As sure as eggs is eggs, my son is going to end up in prison. It is not what I wanted for him and this is not how I dreamed my fifties would be.

Believe me - it is not always the fault of the parents.