Saturday, 8 March 2008


I really have had more than I can stand and it's not being overly dramatic to say that my son is slowly breaking my heart.

This child, the one I have nurtured, loved, fed, and worried over for eighteen years is on a slippery slope and I just don't know what to do to stop his fall.

On Thursday he told me that he was "worried about his legs." I really could not work out what he was saying to me - did his legs hurt, I asked. No, he said, I mean that I owe somebody for some drugs and I haven't got the money.

Devastated is not the word but, terrified that he would get seriously hurt and having got him to swear that he would no longer be involved in this world, we paid the £135.

Later that day, my boy arrived home in his car completely legless. The one thing he has always been sensible about is drinking and driving - he has never driven his car whilst drunk, until now.

If that is not enough, he had beated 7 shades of shit out of some poor boy who tried it on with his girlfriend. Then later that night, he was arrested for driving under the influence.

So, in the course of one day, I have paid my son's illicit drug bill, listened to him boast about beating somebody up, and discovered that he is drink driving.

That is why to say that he is breaking my heart is no exaggeration.

My husband has thrown him out of the house, but I worry about him. I saw him today and begged him to get help. Sadly, he can't see that there is any problem.

I don't want to think about the future.